RAPE MISCONCEPTIONS AND SAFETY TIPS

Power and Control

People have a lot of misconceptions about what motivates men to commit the crime of rape.

Rape is not about a man getting sexually aroused, and being unable to stop.  All men are capable of stopping. 

Rapists are men who choose not to stop.

Sexual assault is when one person forces a sexual act on another person, without her consent.

No woman, ever, wants to be raped.

Rape is a crime that’s not primarily about sex.  It’s a crime about power and control.

In a sexual assault, the main goal of the rapist is not especially to have sex with the victim, but it’s to control her, to dominate her, and to humiliate her.

Rape is “a crime of violence” and sex is the weapon that these men choose.  So you need to forget the old myth that rapists are guys who are “out of control”. 

These are men who want very much to be “in control”, and to have power over women.

Rape is a crime that is all about control. 

Rapes tend to be planned in advance.

Serial rapists usually make the decision that they’re going to rape somebody.  They determine a plan of action, and then they go out and look for a vulnerable victim.

And they do this again, and again, and again.

The 'Gentle Giant'

Serial killer Edmund Kemper

This is serial killer Edmund Kemper.  Kemper stands 6 ft. 9” high, and weighs over three hundred lbs.  Over a two year period, he murdered eight women, including his own mother.

Like many serial rapists and killers, Kemper would spend endless hours cruising around in his car, picking up dozens of female hitch-hikers.

Now, you might think that women would be intimidated or cautious about getting into a car with such a hulking giant of a stranger.

But the fact was, Kemper spent months of practice, picking up hundreds of hitch-hikers, and developing what he called his “gentle giant” personality, an image he had created to put young women at ease.

Edmund Kemper is an example of the kind of men who are out there preying on hitch-hikers.

At a time when many women felt safe hitch-hiking together in pairs, Kemper twice picked up two student hitchhikers, and killed them both.

Hitch-hiking, whether alone or with a friend, is an extremely “high risk” activity. 

Don’t do it.

Fear vs. Anger

What we find in interviews with thousands of women, is that there is a major difference in attitude between the women who end up being victims, and the women who escape.

At the moment of attack, women seem to have two basic and very different concerns.  For one group, the overriding fear is that they’ll be murdered by the attacker.  The other group’s biggest fear is that they will be raped.

In fact, women are often more afraid of being murdered.  Yet many studies have shown that women who are most afraid of being murdered, are most likely to end up raped.

Why is this so often the case?

Women with a greater fear of being killed are more likely to try and cooperate with the rapist, hoping it will stop him from being violent.

Unfortunately, rapists are not known for fair play, and many of these women are injured anyway.

The actual likelihood of a woman being killed in a rape attack is extremely low. 

The majority of rapists are cowards who are out there looking for easy victims to control.  They are not murderers.

Fight Back and Yell

Feeling outraged that you might be raped is often more helpful than feeling fearful of being murdered.

Anger is our trigger to defend ourselves.  Anger releases adrenaline into the body.  It makes us stronger and more alert.  It pushes blood down to our feet, helping us to run faster. 

At the moment of crisis, if you respond with anger, you will discover that kind of strength in yourself.

The fact is, most rapists simply cannot succeed in mentally or physically controlling a defender who is responding with anger. 

Fighting back, and yelling at the top of your voice will terrify most attackers.

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Disclaimer

If you think your life is in danger, always call the emergency services whenever possible.

This information is intended for guidance only. Use your own judgement in each situation.

It is impossible to describe a 'common' rape. Each rapist operates in an individual way, and women need to be aware of a variety of techniques to help themselves in a rape situation. There is no one answer to assure safety.

Please bear in mind that these safety tips were designed for Canadian citizens and advice will vary in different situations and locations. Always use your own local knowledge of your region in applying the safety tips.

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Resources:

Resources

Rape: Psychology, Prevention and Impact - by Marcia Cohen and Sherrie H. McKenna - Yale-New Haven Teachers Institute
Rape and Sexual Assault - by Dean G. Kilpatrick, Ph.D. - National Violence Against Women Prevention Research Center - Medical University of South Carolina