BEING FOLLOWED BY A STRANGER? - WHAT DO YOU DO?

Run Fast and Yell “FIRE”

Imagine for a moment that it’s late at night, and you’re walking home from the subway or bus stop.

Your intuition tells you that someone is following you.   You glance over your shoulder and sure enough, there’s a man walking behind you.  He’s getting closer.  You look up and down the sidewalk, and don’t see anyone else around.  You’re starting to feel nervous.  You’ve still got a few blocks to go before you reach home.

What do you do?

First walk across the street, and see if the man follows you.  After all, maybe you’re imagining something that’s not going to happen. 

You cross the street and he follows you across.  Now you’re really starting to panic.  You look at the street up ahead and see a row of houses.  No people anywhere.

If he’s not too close behind, walk back across the street one more time.  If he follows you, any possibility that it’s a coincidence is gone.  He is following you!  You are in danger.  Suddenly you realize that he’s speeding up.  He’s almost upon you.

Your best response is to immediately run as fast as you can to the front door of the nearest house on the street. 

You should yell “FIRE” at the top of your lungs, over and over again. 

When you get to the front door of the house, bang on it as loudly as possible.

If the door is unlocked, open it, go inside, close the door, and lock it behind you. If the door is locked however, you can be sure that someone inside is running to open it. You can also be sure that others within hearing distance are sticking their heads out the window to see where the fire is.

You will be away from the man who was following you.  He will most likely have have run away.  He doesn’t want to get caught.  He thought you were going to be an easy victim, and you proved him wrong.

Respect Your Intuition

Now, let’s review what’s happened here.

As you were walking down the sidewalk, your intuition told you that there might be someone following you.  Intuition is like a sixth sense.  You have to learn to pay attention to it, when you feel it.  Don’t ignore it, respect it.  Your intuition is always looking out for your best interests.

Crisscrossing the street is a way to test if your intuition is right or wrong.  If you cross the street and he doesn’t follow you - that’s a pretty good sign that you’ve misread the situation.  Stop walking and see if he goes on ahead.

If he follows you across the street, you’re in danger. 

Don’t confront him (he may have a weapon). Run, and yell FIRE. 

Tests have shown that yelling the word “fire” will usually draw more attention than any other word. 

Yelling “help” isn’t nearly as effective.  Many people shy away when they hear that word.   “Fire” gets people’s attention because they think they might be in some danger (Where’s the fire?  Is my house safe?).  Windows and doors open when people hear the word “Fire”.

As you yell, run up to the nearest door, and try and get in. 

Now many of you reading this are going to think it’s crazy to run into a stranger’s home, whether someone’s chasing you or not.  What if the man in the house, is worse then the man chasing you in the street?  Relax.  You’ve been watching too many horror movies. 

The odds of that are infinitesimally low.

Here’s the facts: when someone (a predator) chooses you – you’re in serious danger. 

When you choose a place, or a person at random, to get help from, you’ll almost certainly be safe.  It’s all about who’s doing the choosing.  Most people will be willing to help.

What if You're on a Deserted Downtown Street?

Now suppose this whole scenario takes place on a deserted downtown street.  No houses to run to, only a long row of stores closed for the night.

I recommend that if someone is following you and is going to grab you, immediately break a store window (probably best accomplished with a rock). 

In urban centres today, as soon as you break the window, a very loud alarm will go off.  Within minutes the police will be on the scene.  Your potential attacker will be long gone.

If you find yourself in desperate circumstances, you can’t be afraid to take “extraordinary measures” to save yourself. 

If your life is in danger, there are no longer any rules you have to follow.  Remember, a window is easily replaced – your life isn’t.

Make a Decision

The only way you can be sure to respond like this, is to make a pre-choice decision to do so.

Alberto DeSalvo - The Green Man

'Boston Strangler' - serial killer.Meet Alberto DeSalvo, perhaps better known as the “Boston Strangler”. 

He began his criminal career known as the “Green Man”: when wearing his green work pants, he admitted to breaking into four hundred apartments and assaulting 300 women. Then he decided to begin murdering his victims.

DeSalvo murdered thirteen women in the 1960s, most of whom believed he was an authorized service man sent up to fix their apartment.

He would select an apartment building, and from the lobby, push all the buzzers until someone let him in.  He would then wander through the hallways, knocking on doors, looking for a victim.

Claiming to be the apartment maintenance man, he told his victims that he had been “sent up to do some work in her apartment”.  Because there's usually some repairs necessary in every apartment, he was almost always invited in.  All of these women were sexually assaulted and killed. 

Well, almost all of them. 

One woman survived this killing spree. 

She scared DeSalvo away, by pretending that her husband was asleep in the bedroom at the end of the hall. 

This woman had heard about the murders (they were front page news), and decided that if she ever came face-to-face with the Boston Strangler, she would have a lie prepared in advance. that she would use.  That lie saved her life. 

That lie was a pre-choice decision.

Pre-choice decision

A pre-choice decision is when you think about a situation ahead of time, and decide how you’re going to respond before it ever happens.

You probably have already made a number of prechoice decisions.

For example, you’ve probably decided that if someone in your household has a heart attack, you’re going to call 911. You’ve thought about the possibility of this kind of crisis in advance, and determined the best course of action.

That is, you have to decide ahead of time (perhaps right now!) that should you ever find yourself in these dangerous circumstances, you will take the above actions. 

If you don’t, and a similar crisis occurs, you won’t remember these options because your fear will confuse and traumatize you. 

However, if you decide ahead of time that you’ll use these tactics, you will have committed to a defensive strategy that you’ll remember, and will help to keep you safe.

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Disclaimer

If you think your life is in danger, always call the emergency services whenever possible.

This information is intended for guidance only. Use your own judgement in each situation.

It is impossible to describe a 'common' rape. Each rapist operates in an individual way, and women need to be aware of a variety of techniques to help themselves in a rape situation. There is no one answer to assure safety.

Please bear in mind that these safety tips were designed for Canadian citizens and advice will vary in different situations and locations. Always use your own local knowledge of your region in applying the safety tips.

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Resources

Rape: Psychology, Prevention and Impact - by Marcia Cohen and Sherrie H. McKenna - Yale-New Haven Teachers Institute
Rape and Sexual Assault - by Dean G. Kilpatrick, Ph.D. - National Violence Against Women Prevention Research Center - Medical University of South Carolina